Mitt Mappens

Mitt Romney Poops, Gaffes

2007-05-19T10:36:00.001-06:00

I've been joking that whenever Mitt Romney has a bowel movement, it gets reported ad nauseum by some local media outlets (KSL Mittwitness News, The Salt Lake Mittune, Romney Policy Daily). So, to come across this tidbit is, well, funny:

"We had five boys that were 10 or younger. People used to say to my wife, 'And what do you do?' She'd look at them like, 'Are you out of your mind?' ... I was willing to change the urine-soaked diapers, but the messier types gave me dry heaves. So my wife allowed me to escape that. I came into my own as a parent when the boys were going into their teenage years. ... I grew up in a home where spanking was applied rarely, so I don't object to 'tapping.' Not to cause pain but to communicate displeasure. ... Even on the bleakest days, (fatherhood is) the most fulfilling experience of your life."

To a political staffer, Gaffes are like poopy diapers. Every candidate has them, and it gives you dry heaves to fix. So, Mitt Romney's Top 10 gaffes (so far), care of Ana Marie Cox in Time Magazine (Please note: I have changes the titles on these, and Ms. Cox elaborates on them more):

1. France is the enemy. (I wonder how the people he taught on him mission to France feel about that one...)
2. Battlefield Earth
3. Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm huntin wabbit.
4. "Liquefied coal, gosh. Hitler during the Second World War — I guess because he was concerned about losing his oil — liquefied coal. That technology is still there." (source, lest you think that was made up...)
5. Castro=Free Cuba
6. Ann Romney's position are not relevant to Mitt's campaign. (I actually agree with the sentiment.)
7. Seven Year Brides for French Brothers
8. Double Torture
9. No comment, I'm just a governor for 3 more days.
10. Let's not move heaven and earth to catch bin Laden.

Can you think of any more good gaffes?

-Bob

Mitt No Longer Mormon?

2007-05-18T15:51:00.001-06:00

Mitt Romney is no longer a Mormon.

He's a Scientologist-Jedi-Fearmonger.

I would have added "Mormon" on there, but given his views on Guantanamo, he's going against LDS scripture.

Mitt Romney, GOP Debate #2: "You said they're at Guantanamo? I'm glad they're at Guantanamo. I don't want them on our soil. I want them at Guantanamo where they don't get the access to lawyers that they'd get when they're on our soil. I don't want them in our prisons, I want them there. Some people say that we should close Guatanamo, my view is: We outta double Guantanamo....Enhanced interrogation techniques need to be used."

Doctine and Covenants 134:8 -- "We believe that the commission of crime should be punished according to the nature of the offense; that murder, treason, robbery, theft, and the breach of the general peace, in all respects, should be punished according to their criminality and their tendency to evil among men, by the laws of that government in which the offense is committed; and for the public peace and tranquility all men should step forward and use their ability in bringing coffenders against good laws to punishment." (emphasis added)

Just ask John McCain how effective torture is.

-Bob

America's biggest challenge is Jihad. Be afraid. Be Very Afraid.

2007-04-19T12:45:00.001-06:00

YouTUBE has started inviting a different Campaign each week to ask a question of YouTubers. The first candidate was Mitt Romney. Several people turned the tables and asked him what HIS position was.

His response?

Jihad.

Yep. Selling the fear card. Not the deficit. Not poverty or jobs. Not even playing the morals card.

He plays the terrorism card.

-Bob

P.S. If Jihad is America's greatest challenge, isn't it partly to be because George W Bush has effed up the War on Terror?

"Lifelong Hunter" Mitt Romney has actually only been hunting twice

2007-04-04T14:14:00.000-06:00

To hear Mitt Romney talk on the campaign trail, you might think the Republican presidential candidate had a gun rack in the back of his pickup truck.
"I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I've been a hunter pretty much all my life," he said this week in Keene, N.H., to a man sporting a National Rifle Association cap.
Yet the former Massachusetts governor's hunting experience is limited to two trips at the bookends of his 60 years: as a 15-year-old, when he hunted rabbits with his cousins on a ranch in Idaho, and last year, when he shot quail on a fenced game preserve in Georgia.

Read the full story here.

Mitt-Flop Turns on France, MA, UT. Is DC Next?

2007-03-06T20:27:00.001-07:00

Mormons Against Romney:

Is there another candidate as familiar with France out there as Romney should be? Romney was a Mormon missionary in France, lived among French people daily, spoke French. France is generous enough to let young LDS men and women into the country to talk about religion. Romney deciding that he should exploit anti-France sentiment for his own political gain is simply shameless. (The fact that he is also going to be campaigning against MA is equally despicable.) When a community opens its doors to you and lets you in when it doesn’t have to, a measure of appreciation towards that community is appropriate. Romney does not need to go around drinking wine and driving a Citroen, or even that he has to agree with any particular political position popular in France. He does, however, have a responsibility to treat France with respect, since he was allowed into their country. Since he has so much experience with France he knows that they aren't a true threat to the United States, a fact that seems to be tacitly acknowledged in the use of the term "bogeyman".

He's selling out the country he lived in for 2 years as a missionary, Refuses to mention the state he lived in the international spotlight in (except for when he's taking money from that state's residents), and made fun of the state he ran for four years.

I hate to see what he will do if he makes the District of Columbia his new home.

-BobMitt

Mitt Hates McCain-Feingold, Balance of Power

2007-03-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

Mitt's probably running out of rich Mormons to donate their $2300 to him. Life would be so much easier if that pesky McCain-Feingold didn't exist.

(Video courtesy Romney Campaign on YOUTube.)

Isn't it interesting how he jumps from blasting judicial power to repealing a law created not by judges but by the Congress?

Laws passed by only the Executive are just as bad if not worse than laws passed only by the Judiciary.

-Bob

Mitt Romney and the 10th Article of Faith

2007-02-20T13:45:00.001-07:00

10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.

Apparently, Mitt forgot to learn this in Primary.

-Bob

BREAKING: Mitt Romney Fundraiser

2007-01-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

[UPDATE: 1/6/07 9:55 AM: I found out the fundraiser is on Monday in Boston.]

So, a mole with ties to the Mitt Romney camp informs me that people from Utah are flying to Mass to kick off the fundraising season.

That got me thinking: Why fly back east to give Mitt your $2000 check?

Shaun says it could be a show of force. TV cameras just love a large group of diverse people.

However, the people I know who are going are not going to help in the diversity department. Rich, White, Republican, and Mormon.

Anywho, watch for it on the news this weekend. Well, the Utah news at least. They're the only ones paying attention to Mitt's campaign right now.

-Bob

A Pop Quiz on Mitt's positions

2007-01-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

The DNC gives us this pop quiz on non-Utahn Mitt's position on the issues. See how well you did:

Romney’s Position On A Woman’s Right To Choose Is:

A. Abortion Should Be Safe And Legal. “I believe that abortion should be safe and legal in this country… I believe that since Roe v. Wade has been the law for 20 years that we should sustain and support it. And I sustain and support that law and the right of a woman to make that choice.” [Romney Kennedy Debate Transcript, 10/1994]

B. Not Pro-Choice Or Pro Life. “I've never used either title, pro-life or pro-choice, in the past. I said I don't favor abortion.” [Fox News, 2/26/06]

C. Firmly Pro-Life. “I recognized that we had so cheapened the value of human life, through the Roe v. Wade mentality, that I could no longer stand on the sidelines, if you will. I had to take sides. And I call myself firmly pro-life.” [CNN, 10/17/06]

D. All of the above.

Romney’s Position On A Constitutional Amendment To Ban Same-Sex Marriage:

A. Full Equality for Gays and Lesbians. “As we seek to establish full equality for America's gay and lesbian citizens, I will provide more effective leadership than my opponent [Ted Kennedy].” [Boston Globe, 10/17/94]

B. Against Constitutional Amendment to Ban Gay Marriage in Massachusetts. In 2002, Romney condemned a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban both gay marriage and domestic-partner benefits in Massachusetts, despite the fact that his wife and son supported it. [Boston Globe, 3/22/02]

C. For Federal Constitutional Amendment To Ban Gay Marriage. “Massachusetts is the front line on marriage, but unless we adopt a federal amendment to protect marriage, what is happening here will unquestionably enter every other state.” [“Transcript of Romney Address to Liberty Sunday,” EvangelicalsforMitt.com, 10/16/06]

D. All of the above.

Romney’s Position On The Bush Tax Cut:

A. Refuses to Publicly Endorse Bush Tax Cuts. Romney refused to endorse tax cuts at the heart of President Bush's economic program in 2003. Romney’s spokesperson said that it’s “just not a state matter.” [Boston Globe, 4/11/03]

B. Brags About Support for Bush Tax Cuts. During a November 13, 2006 press conference held in Arizona, Romney outlined differences between himself and McCain. Romney said “he was quicker than McCain to endorse President Bush's tax cuts.” [East Valley Sun, 11/14/06]

C. All of the above.

And now, for super-duper double bonus points...

Romney’s Governorship Was A Failure Because:

A. Goals Unmet. “Romney himself admits that a number of his goals remain unmet. His inability to lower the nation's highest unemployment insurance rate, to secure merit pay for teachers, and to reinvigorate the Republican Party were among the frustrations he listed.” [Editorial, Boston Globe, 12/26/06]

B. Highest Property Taxes in 25 Years. Romney’s cuts to local aid forced Massachusetts property taxes to their highest level in 25 years. [Quincy Patriot Ledger, 12/16/05]

C. 3,000 Jobs Lost. Romney oversaw a net decrease of more than 3,000 jobs in Massachusetts. [BLS, Seasonally Adjusted Employment Statistics, 12/2002 – 10/2004]

D. All of the above.

If you guessed (D) All of the above you can go to the head of the class!